Surely You Gotto be Kidding Me !
Friday, August 18, 2006
Headlines : 18th August, Friday
Back to being hot again in Chennai. It was so hot that people were like – ‘What the hell, get me that bottle of Fanta, pesticides or not….’
It was so hot that people were sweating like Shaun Pollock and Mark Boucher shopping for vegetables at a Colombo supermarket.
That’s right. The South Africans have left the tour of Sri Lanka citing security reasons after a bomb blast near their hotel in Colombo. When they heard this, children in Kashmir were going - ‘Wow……….what a bunch of sissies………’
Senior Indian cricketers like Sachin and Dravid have no problems in carrying on with the tour though. And why would they? Afterall, Tendulkar comes from a place where there were 7 blasts in 30 minutes just a few weeks back. He feels much safer over there in Lanka.
The United Nations is struggling to assemble a decent sized peacekeeping force for Lebanon. No one is committing any troops……..in fact, countries are running away from the UN faster than the South African team from Sri Lanka.
Israel has asked the UN to clearly define the process of deploying the Peace Keeping forces in Lebanon. Forget that, lets first define what ‘Office of Profit’ means, okay?
The second time around, President Kalam has signed the OoP Bill since he had no choice but to do so. The President is just concerned that the term Office of Profit is not yet clearly defined and open to varied interpretations. The MPs in Lok Sabha are going – ‘But that’s the whole point, isn’t it? ……..’
The Government has decided to form a Joint Parliamentary Committee (JPC) of 15 members to address the concerns expressed by the President. Hmmm……15 politicians working to define something – this project has 'too many cooks.....' written all over it.
In the middle of all the chaos about pesticides, Indra Nooyi has been appointed the new CEO of PepsiCo. And not surprisingly, the first thing she did after hearing the news was give Coca Cola the middle finger (remember that crazy controversy?......hehehe)
A plane flying from London to Egypt was forced to land in Italy following a bomb scare that turned out to be a false alarm. It is now suspected that the pilot actually landed in a hurry in Italy since he was keen on trying some traditional pizza made in Napoli.
In spite of being called a lousy movie, ‘Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna’ is breaking box-office records everywhere. The reason being obvious. So who says that the stars don’t rule people?
Mel Gibson has pleaded ‘no contest’ in court at the charges against him. Let’s see – He was arrested for drunken driving, tested for very high blood-alcohol levels, made anti-Semitic remarks during his arrest and tried to lie his way out of it initially. Yep, that does look every bit a ‘no contest’ case, doesn’t it?
It was so hot that people were sweating like Shaun Pollock and Mark Boucher shopping for vegetables at a Colombo supermarket.
That’s right. The South Africans have left the tour of Sri Lanka citing security reasons after a bomb blast near their hotel in Colombo. When they heard this, children in Kashmir were going - ‘Wow……….what a bunch of sissies………’
Senior Indian cricketers like Sachin and Dravid have no problems in carrying on with the tour though. And why would they? Afterall, Tendulkar comes from a place where there were 7 blasts in 30 minutes just a few weeks back. He feels much safer over there in Lanka.
The United Nations is struggling to assemble a decent sized peacekeeping force for Lebanon. No one is committing any troops……..in fact, countries are running away from the UN faster than the South African team from Sri Lanka.
Israel has asked the UN to clearly define the process of deploying the Peace Keeping forces in Lebanon. Forget that, lets first define what ‘Office of Profit’ means, okay?
The second time around, President Kalam has signed the OoP Bill since he had no choice but to do so. The President is just concerned that the term Office of Profit is not yet clearly defined and open to varied interpretations. The MPs in Lok Sabha are going – ‘But that’s the whole point, isn’t it? ……..’
The Government has decided to form a Joint Parliamentary Committee (JPC) of 15 members to address the concerns expressed by the President. Hmmm……15 politicians working to define something – this project has 'too many cooks.....' written all over it.
In the middle of all the chaos about pesticides, Indra Nooyi has been appointed the new CEO of PepsiCo. And not surprisingly, the first thing she did after hearing the news was give Coca Cola the middle finger (remember that crazy controversy?......hehehe)
A plane flying from London to Egypt was forced to land in Italy following a bomb scare that turned out to be a false alarm. It is now suspected that the pilot actually landed in a hurry in Italy since he was keen on trying some traditional pizza made in Napoli.
In spite of being called a lousy movie, ‘Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna’ is breaking box-office records everywhere. The reason being obvious. So who says that the stars don’t rule people?
Mel Gibson has pleaded ‘no contest’ in court at the charges against him. Let’s see – He was arrested for drunken driving, tested for very high blood-alcohol levels, made anti-Semitic remarks during his arrest and tried to lie his way out of it initially. Yep, that does look every bit a ‘no contest’ case, doesn’t it?
Thursday, August 17, 2006
17th August, Thursday : Top Ten List # 2
My apologies for not updating the blog in the last three days people. Have been thinking about new ideas of how to make the blog more interesting. Will be trying out a few things in the days ahead. Hope you guys like it.
And the Top 10 lists are a lot of fun in my opinion. This is the second one I am attempting and am looking at making it a regular feature in the blog if you like it.
Ok here goes. This is with respect to the Soft Drink - Pesticide debate. Personally, I have a feeling that Coke and Pepsi are guilty of supplying inferior quality products for the Indian market.
The list is written in reverse order starting with Number 10 and finishing with the Number 1....
The Top 10 reasons why I think the allegations about excessive pesticide content in Soft Drinks are true- Based on the following:
10. Repeated use of the phrase 'Allowed Limit' while talking about the pesticide content.
9. The latest tag line for Coke is - 'Just drink it. It's not like you will get Cancer or something.'
8. The fact that Britney Spears feeds her baby Diet Pepsi everyday.
7. PepsiCo Chairman's argument - ' We never claimed it was a health drink, okay?...'
6. A farmer in Orissa asking the NDTV News reporter - ' You mean to say you guys actually DRINK this stuff?'
5. Sprite getting chosen by Dick Cheney as the official drink at Abu Gharib prison in Iraq.
4. Coca Cola Marketing Manager’s defense that it was DEFINITELY better than drinking plain water with pesticides.
3. Thumbs Up Spokesperson answering a customer complaint with – ‘Sir, isn’t it possible that the bothersome rat in your kitchen died own its own accord?’
2. Soft Drink bottles in rural areas actually come with an attached nozzle and sprayer at the top.
1. Sachin Tendulkar dubiously saying - ' I would be seen drinking a lot more Pepsi bottles if it were not for my Tennis Elbow problem.'
And the Top 10 lists are a lot of fun in my opinion. This is the second one I am attempting and am looking at making it a regular feature in the blog if you like it.
Ok here goes. This is with respect to the Soft Drink - Pesticide debate. Personally, I have a feeling that Coke and Pepsi are guilty of supplying inferior quality products for the Indian market.
The list is written in reverse order starting with Number 10 and finishing with the Number 1....
The Top 10 reasons why I think the allegations about excessive pesticide content in Soft Drinks are true- Based on the following:
10. Repeated use of the phrase 'Allowed Limit' while talking about the pesticide content.
9. The latest tag line for Coke is - 'Just drink it. It's not like you will get Cancer or something.'
8. The fact that Britney Spears feeds her baby Diet Pepsi everyday.
7. PepsiCo Chairman's argument - ' We never claimed it was a health drink, okay?...'
6. A farmer in Orissa asking the NDTV News reporter - ' You mean to say you guys actually DRINK this stuff?'
5. Sprite getting chosen by Dick Cheney as the official drink at Abu Gharib prison in Iraq.
4. Coca Cola Marketing Manager’s defense that it was DEFINITELY better than drinking plain water with pesticides.
3. Thumbs Up Spokesperson answering a customer complaint with – ‘Sir, isn’t it possible that the bothersome rat in your kitchen died own its own accord?’
2. Soft Drink bottles in rural areas actually come with an attached nozzle and sprayer at the top.
1. Sachin Tendulkar dubiously saying - ' I would be seen drinking a lot more Pepsi bottles if it were not for my Tennis Elbow problem.'
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Headlines : 13th August, Sunday
It was raining hard in the evening in Chennai. In fact, it was raining so hard that people were just glad they were not in Gujrat right now.
The main findings of The Hindu -CNN-IBN State of the Nation Survey are worrying to say the least. In spite of the Pathak report disclosures, Mandal-II, farmer suicides and rising commodity prices, the UPA and Congress has gotten more popular!! All I can say that being an incompetent political party in this country has never been more fun.
And to think that the Mumbai blasts happened just a month ago. And we have no clues. What were the participants in the survey thinking? That it could have been 17 blasts instead of just 7? Is that what were they thinking?
I guess UPA stands for ‘Unconditionally Popular Alliance’.
When he heard this, George Bush was like – ‘Hey! My performance was similar to this……how come my approval ratings are down all the time?
Today, BJP party members were spotted with sad and long faces. Some of them were crying. And this was only because they had just been to the premiere of ‘Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna’. They haven’t even heard about the survey yet.
August 15th coming up in a couple of days. Everyone is getting mentally prepared for two things – Blasts in Kashmir and watching ‘Roja’ on DD-national for the 173rd time.
Today, UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan heard the words that he never thought he would in his lifetime. Someone saying – ‘We agree to listen to the UN’s decision’.
That’s right. The Israeli Cabinet has approved the UN cease-fire pact effective form tomorrow. On the other hand, the Cabinet also approved an expanded ground offensive on Lebanon just 48 hours ago. Phew!!..... I am just relieved that they have a clear action plan in mind. They do seem to know what they are doing……..
When President Bush was asked if he thought Israel was equivocating with respect to the Lebanon issue, his reply was – ‘They are doing nothing of that sort. But from their statements, it’s not clear whether they want to fight or settle for a cease-fire’.
Following his operation, Fidel Castro asked his people to be ready to face any adverse news regarding his health. Like when he said that he felt much healthier already and would be back soon.
Someone has come in support of a man arrested in the US for terrorism-related charges and said that he is innocent. The FBI is slightly wary of the source though, since it happens to be the man’s wife!!!. Not exactly the true objective third-party opinion one looks for in these cases, is it?
A recent survey among US High School students reveals that there are a fewer of them having sex when compared to 1991. But wait, it’s not all good news. It seems the real reason for this is that most of them are already bored with sex by the time they got to high school!!!!!!!!!
The main findings of The Hindu -CNN-IBN State of the Nation Survey are worrying to say the least. In spite of the Pathak report disclosures, Mandal-II, farmer suicides and rising commodity prices, the UPA and Congress has gotten more popular!! All I can say that being an incompetent political party in this country has never been more fun.
And to think that the Mumbai blasts happened just a month ago. And we have no clues. What were the participants in the survey thinking? That it could have been 17 blasts instead of just 7? Is that what were they thinking?
I guess UPA stands for ‘Unconditionally Popular Alliance’.
When he heard this, George Bush was like – ‘Hey! My performance was similar to this……how come my approval ratings are down all the time?
Today, BJP party members were spotted with sad and long faces. Some of them were crying. And this was only because they had just been to the premiere of ‘Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna’. They haven’t even heard about the survey yet.
August 15th coming up in a couple of days. Everyone is getting mentally prepared for two things – Blasts in Kashmir and watching ‘Roja’ on DD-national for the 173rd time.
Today, UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan heard the words that he never thought he would in his lifetime. Someone saying – ‘We agree to listen to the UN’s decision’.
That’s right. The Israeli Cabinet has approved the UN cease-fire pact effective form tomorrow. On the other hand, the Cabinet also approved an expanded ground offensive on Lebanon just 48 hours ago. Phew!!..... I am just relieved that they have a clear action plan in mind. They do seem to know what they are doing……..
When President Bush was asked if he thought Israel was equivocating with respect to the Lebanon issue, his reply was – ‘They are doing nothing of that sort. But from their statements, it’s not clear whether they want to fight or settle for a cease-fire’.
Following his operation, Fidel Castro asked his people to be ready to face any adverse news regarding his health. Like when he said that he felt much healthier already and would be back soon.
Someone has come in support of a man arrested in the US for terrorism-related charges and said that he is innocent. The FBI is slightly wary of the source though, since it happens to be the man’s wife!!!. Not exactly the true objective third-party opinion one looks for in these cases, is it?
A recent survey among US High School students reveals that there are a fewer of them having sex when compared to 1991. But wait, it’s not all good news. It seems the real reason for this is that most of them are already bored with sex by the time they got to high school!!!!!!!!!
