Surely You Gotto be Kidding Me !
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Headlines : 12th September, Tuesday
As usual, another hot day in Chennai. People were sweating like Leander Paes before a singles match.
The Malegoan blasts. The Rapid Action Force personnel conducted a flag march in Malegaon, which was hit by four bomb blasts on Friday. Ok……here’s a radical idea…….how about you idiots stop marching around town and go after the criminals instead? That might actually work……..
And I am not even going to point out the irony here – Rapid Action Forces. Rapid Action????? Oh, just forget it……..
The American embassy in Syria has been attacked by 4 unidentified gunmen. And today, President Bush was reportedly seen flipping a coin at his White House desk to decide if the US should invade Syria or not.
The ’93 Mumbai Blasts Case Trial
After 13 long years, the court has finally made its decision in the ’93 Mumbai blasts case. It’s taken the court 13 years!!! Saddam Hussein has now asked for his trial to be officially shifted to a Mumbai court……
4 members of the influential Memon family have been found guilty by Judge PD Kode. On the other hand, 3 others of the family have also been acquitted. Apparently, the judge felt that those 4 were actually involved in the blasts while these 3 just booked their train tickets or something……
And what kind of a name is Memon, really? It’s not Menon, which is well known. And it is likely to be mis-spelled as Lemon, which could be embarrassing………
Sanjay Dutt’s latest film ‘Lagey Rago Munnabhai’ is about non-violence and following Gandhiji’s footsteps. It’s too late for all that, Sanju dada…….you should have thought about it before actively taking part in the ’93 Bombay blasts.
But ‘Lagey Raho Munnabhai’is doing quite well……at least no one can accuse his movie of ‘bombing’ at the box office.
Entertainment News
A fictional documentary film about the assassination of George Bush is all set for release in the US. It’s one thing that your approval rating is below 40. But its totally different when people start fantasizing how nice it would be if you were killed……
A day after her marriage, actress Jyotika has announced she will stop acting in films henceforth. That’s odd…….I thought she had stopped acting in films for a long time now….. :-)
Paris Hilton was arrested a couple of days ago on charges of drunken driving. Call me a cynic but when she says that she was just really upset about Steve Irwin, I am thinking –‘Yeah, right……’
Science and Technology
A new study reveals that human activities that result in global warming may be responsible for causing intense hurricanes. If it’s any consolation for the victims of Katrina, it may have been their own fault the whole thing happened in the first place…
Apple is expected to announce the debut of its iPhone in a few months. So now you can listen to songs while talking on your cell phone. If that doesn’t make your callers feel important, then nothing will……
The Kenyan government is seeking funding to finance its own undersea internet cable system. Wow. And once this vital project is over, Kenya is going to shift its focus on getting some food and water for its people.
The Malegoan blasts. The Rapid Action Force personnel conducted a flag march in Malegaon, which was hit by four bomb blasts on Friday. Ok……here’s a radical idea…….how about you idiots stop marching around town and go after the criminals instead? That might actually work……..
And I am not even going to point out the irony here – Rapid Action Forces. Rapid Action????? Oh, just forget it……..
The American embassy in Syria has been attacked by 4 unidentified gunmen. And today, President Bush was reportedly seen flipping a coin at his White House desk to decide if the US should invade Syria or not.
The ’93 Mumbai Blasts Case Trial
After 13 long years, the court has finally made its decision in the ’93 Mumbai blasts case. It’s taken the court 13 years!!! Saddam Hussein has now asked for his trial to be officially shifted to a Mumbai court……
4 members of the influential Memon family have been found guilty by Judge PD Kode. On the other hand, 3 others of the family have also been acquitted. Apparently, the judge felt that those 4 were actually involved in the blasts while these 3 just booked their train tickets or something……
And what kind of a name is Memon, really? It’s not Menon, which is well known. And it is likely to be mis-spelled as Lemon, which could be embarrassing………
Sanjay Dutt’s latest film ‘Lagey Rago Munnabhai’ is about non-violence and following Gandhiji’s footsteps. It’s too late for all that, Sanju dada…….you should have thought about it before actively taking part in the ’93 Bombay blasts.
But ‘Lagey Raho Munnabhai’is doing quite well……at least no one can accuse his movie of ‘bombing’ at the box office.
Entertainment News
A fictional documentary film about the assassination of George Bush is all set for release in the US. It’s one thing that your approval rating is below 40. But its totally different when people start fantasizing how nice it would be if you were killed……
A day after her marriage, actress Jyotika has announced she will stop acting in films henceforth. That’s odd…….I thought she had stopped acting in films for a long time now….. :-)
Paris Hilton was arrested a couple of days ago on charges of drunken driving. Call me a cynic but when she says that she was just really upset about Steve Irwin, I am thinking –‘Yeah, right……’
Science and Technology
A new study reveals that human activities that result in global warming may be responsible for causing intense hurricanes. If it’s any consolation for the victims of Katrina, it may have been their own fault the whole thing happened in the first place…
Apple is expected to announce the debut of its iPhone in a few months. So now you can listen to songs while talking on your cell phone. If that doesn’t make your callers feel important, then nothing will……
The Kenyan government is seeking funding to finance its own undersea internet cable system. Wow. And once this vital project is over, Kenya is going to shift its focus on getting some food and water for its people.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Headlines : 11th September, Monday
Another hot day in Chennai. People were sweating like celebrities, attending the Surya-Jyotika wedding, trying to find parking space at the Park Sheraton.
Malegaon update. The police have released rough sketches of the key suspect in the Malegaon bombing case. The strange part. The suspect looks a lot like R.K.Laxman’s ‘Common man’.
Here’s something amazing. Today is supposed to be the judgement day in the 1993 Mumbai blasts case. But the good part….once they are done dealing with this, the police might actually begin working on the 7-11 blasts. Finally!!!
9-11 Anniversary
It’s that time of the year again. Time to remember the disaster that took place this very day, 5 years ago. It’s the day when CNN and BBC got hold of that footage of the couple of planes crashing into the WTC. That’s right……..Gosh…..how many times they kept playing it……..the sickos!!!!!!!!
In a solemn ceremony, George Bush laid flower wreaths on his visit to Ground Zero. An embarrassing moment followed when he insisted on also being taken to Ground One and Ground Two.......
While speaking about 9-11, Bush has claimed that America is a lot safer under the present administration compared to 5 years ago. Yeah, so what’s the big deal? All you need to do is to take away Dick Cheney’s guns and the country is a lot safer immediately.
A CNN poll reveals that almost half of America believes that the Bush administration is responsible to a large extent for the 9-11 disaster. Well sure, it IS the goverment's fault that the Twin Towers were built so tall and that planes run on petrol.
Middle East watch
Iran has agreed to suspend its uranium enrichment program during the talks with the EU. Given the rate at which these talks usually proceed, Iran may have pretty much agreed to stop the program altogether…….
President Bush now has a new plan to tackle the terrorists in Iraq - Sting rays.
Dick Cheney has come out and boldly asserted that the US has done a ‘helluva job’ in Iraq and with the terrorism situation overall. Good to see that Bush’s approval rating is doing pretty ok inside the White House at least.
There have been a lot of angry protests over Tony Blair’s visit to Lebanon. Now what I don’t understand is why he would want to visit Beirut at this juncture? What good can come of it? What next? The Sri Lankan PM planning a weekend getaway at Jaffna?
Sports
Roger Federer beat Andy Roddick to win the 2006 US Open yesterday. Federer now has an amazing 11-1 record against Roddick. But wait…….the amazing part here is that Roddick actually managed to win a match against Roger.
Andrew Flintoff has said that he doesn’t care who the Captain is as long as England retain the Ashes in Australia later this year. So who says that British humour is dying a slow death? Retain the Ashes……..hahahahahahaha
Retirement season is in the air. First it was Andre. Then Navratilova. Now Schumacher has followed. But worryingly, the one person who must have led this procession is yet to throw his name into the hat – Saurav dada.
Malegaon update. The police have released rough sketches of the key suspect in the Malegaon bombing case. The strange part. The suspect looks a lot like R.K.Laxman’s ‘Common man’.
Here’s something amazing. Today is supposed to be the judgement day in the 1993 Mumbai blasts case. But the good part….once they are done dealing with this, the police might actually begin working on the 7-11 blasts. Finally!!!
9-11 Anniversary
It’s that time of the year again. Time to remember the disaster that took place this very day, 5 years ago. It’s the day when CNN and BBC got hold of that footage of the couple of planes crashing into the WTC. That’s right……..Gosh…..how many times they kept playing it……..the sickos!!!!!!!!
In a solemn ceremony, George Bush laid flower wreaths on his visit to Ground Zero. An embarrassing moment followed when he insisted on also being taken to Ground One and Ground Two.......
While speaking about 9-11, Bush has claimed that America is a lot safer under the present administration compared to 5 years ago. Yeah, so what’s the big deal? All you need to do is to take away Dick Cheney’s guns and the country is a lot safer immediately.
A CNN poll reveals that almost half of America believes that the Bush administration is responsible to a large extent for the 9-11 disaster. Well sure, it IS the goverment's fault that the Twin Towers were built so tall and that planes run on petrol.
Middle East watch
Iran has agreed to suspend its uranium enrichment program during the talks with the EU. Given the rate at which these talks usually proceed, Iran may have pretty much agreed to stop the program altogether…….
President Bush now has a new plan to tackle the terrorists in Iraq - Sting rays.
Dick Cheney has come out and boldly asserted that the US has done a ‘helluva job’ in Iraq and with the terrorism situation overall. Good to see that Bush’s approval rating is doing pretty ok inside the White House at least.
There have been a lot of angry protests over Tony Blair’s visit to Lebanon. Now what I don’t understand is why he would want to visit Beirut at this juncture? What good can come of it? What next? The Sri Lankan PM planning a weekend getaway at Jaffna?
Sports
Roger Federer beat Andy Roddick to win the 2006 US Open yesterday. Federer now has an amazing 11-1 record against Roddick. But wait…….the amazing part here is that Roddick actually managed to win a match against Roger.
Andrew Flintoff has said that he doesn’t care who the Captain is as long as England retain the Ashes in Australia later this year. So who says that British humour is dying a slow death? Retain the Ashes……..hahahahahahaha
Retirement season is in the air. First it was Andre. Then Navratilova. Now Schumacher has followed. But worryingly, the one person who must have led this procession is yet to throw his name into the hat – Saurav dada.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
10th September, Sunday : Clown of the Week # 3
Back after a while. So no dilly dallying or beating about the bush. Let’s cut right to the chase. Head straight to the point.
This week’s clown is from the field of sports and the winner is…………Jose Mourinho.
For those of you who don’t know him – he is the manager of EPL football club, Chelsea.
He is famous for making controversial remarks and has been the media’s delight ever since he landed in England two years back. His latest effort is an absolute gem.
The setting: International matches for France this week. Claude Makelele, who plays for Chelsea, had been chosen by the French coach to play in these two matches. But Makalele had tentatively announced his retirement after the World Cup in Germany. So, to protest against this, Mourinho does the right thing – takes up the issue with FIFA through the proper channels and procedure. Naaah…..just kidding. When has he ever taken the traditional route??
He instead chose to shoot his mouth in the media and shoot he did. His actual statement was – ‘Makelele is not a football player. He is a slave. He has no rights. It is unbelievable’.
First of all, I don’t think Mourinho understands what it means to be a slave or the real meaning of the word and all that it implies. Secondly, Makelele himself told the media that he had no problems playing for his country and his retirement was nothing final but was something he was considering.
So, Jose has as usual made a fool of himself by making outrageous remarks to the media without even talking to his players first and having a clear idea as to what the situation is. Now, he has to eat his own words and also pay a huge fine to FIFA for speaking his ‘mind’ on a very sensitive subject through improper channels and using inappropriate language. Another typical day in the office for Jose.
Say what you will, but there is never a dull moment when this guy is around. And I love him for that. I am sure he will be back soon and win the award in the near future. :-)
This week’s clown is from the field of sports and the winner is…………Jose Mourinho.
For those of you who don’t know him – he is the manager of EPL football club, Chelsea.
He is famous for making controversial remarks and has been the media’s delight ever since he landed in England two years back. His latest effort is an absolute gem.
The setting: International matches for France this week. Claude Makelele, who plays for Chelsea, had been chosen by the French coach to play in these two matches. But Makalele had tentatively announced his retirement after the World Cup in Germany. So, to protest against this, Mourinho does the right thing – takes up the issue with FIFA through the proper channels and procedure. Naaah…..just kidding. When has he ever taken the traditional route??
He instead chose to shoot his mouth in the media and shoot he did. His actual statement was – ‘Makelele is not a football player. He is a slave. He has no rights. It is unbelievable’.
First of all, I don’t think Mourinho understands what it means to be a slave or the real meaning of the word and all that it implies. Secondly, Makelele himself told the media that he had no problems playing for his country and his retirement was nothing final but was something he was considering.
So, Jose has as usual made a fool of himself by making outrageous remarks to the media without even talking to his players first and having a clear idea as to what the situation is. Now, he has to eat his own words and also pay a huge fine to FIFA for speaking his ‘mind’ on a very sensitive subject through improper channels and using inappropriate language. Another typical day in the office for Jose.
Say what you will, but there is never a dull moment when this guy is around. And I love him for that. I am sure he will be back soon and win the award in the near future. :-)
