This blog will attempt to highlight the humourous aspects of actual news stories and events from around the world. The contents can be funny,stupid,bizzare and sometimes downright disturbing. Hopefully, it will be more interesting than anything you are likely to read in THE HINDU editorial column.

Surely You Gotto be Kidding Me !

Friday, August 18, 2006

Headlines : 18th August, Friday

Back to being hot again in Chennai. It was so hot that people were like – ‘What the hell, get me that bottle of Fanta, pesticides or not….’

It was so hot that people were sweating like Shaun Pollock and Mark Boucher shopping for vegetables at a Colombo supermarket.

That’s right. The South Africans have left the tour of Sri Lanka citing security reasons after a bomb blast near their hotel in Colombo. When they heard this, children in Kashmir were going - ‘Wow……….what a bunch of sissies………’

Senior Indian cricketers like Sachin and Dravid have no problems in carrying on with the tour though. And why would they? Afterall, Tendulkar comes from a place where there were 7 blasts in 30 minutes just a few weeks back. He feels much safer over there in Lanka.

The United Nations is struggling to assemble a decent sized peacekeeping force for Lebanon. No one is committing any troops……..in fact, countries are running away from the UN faster than the South African team from Sri Lanka.

Israel has asked the UN to clearly define the process of deploying the Peace Keeping forces in Lebanon. Forget that, lets first define what ‘Office of Profit’ means, okay?

The second time around, President Kalam has signed the OoP Bill since he had no choice but to do so. The President is just concerned that the term Office of Profit is not yet clearly defined and open to varied interpretations. The MPs in Lok Sabha are going – ‘But that’s the whole point, isn’t it? ……..’

The Government has decided to form a Joint Parliamentary Committee (JPC) of 15 members to address the concerns expressed by the President. Hmmm……15 politicians working to define something – this project has 'too many cooks.....' written all over it.

In the middle of all the chaos about pesticides, Indra Nooyi has been appointed the new CEO of PepsiCo. And not surprisingly, the first thing she did after hearing the news was give Coca Cola the middle finger (remember that crazy controversy?......hehehe)

A plane flying from London to Egypt was forced to land in Italy following a bomb scare that turned out to be a false alarm. It is now suspected that the pilot actually landed in a hurry in Italy since he was keen on trying some traditional pizza made in Napoli.

In spite of being called a lousy movie, ‘Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna’ is breaking box-office records everywhere. The reason being obvious. So who says that the stars don’t rule people?

Mel Gibson has pleaded ‘no contest’ in court at the charges against him. Let’s see – He was arrested for drunken driving, tested for very high blood-alcohol levels, made anti-Semitic remarks during his arrest and tried to lie his way out of it initially. Yep, that does look every bit a ‘no contest’ case, doesn’t it?

2 Comments:

he he, poor Nooyi!
the JPC has "too many crooks" written all over it...

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