Surely You Gotto be Kidding Me !

Its Saturday and time for some odd news. And none odder than the first story that we will be dealing with……..

#1 A man is fighting to stop alimony payments to his ex-wife because the woman is now a man. Lawrence Roach says his ex-wife has had a sex change and is now living as a man with a new identity. Roach says he should be allowed discontinue $1,200 in monthly alimony payments. "This isn't right. It's humiliating to me and degrading," Roach said. "You know, I'm a man and I don't want to be paying alimony to a man. If you can't be married to a man legally, how can you legally pay alimony to a man?"

#2 A German lawyer hopes to drum up more business by pursuing state compensation claims for people who believe they were abducted by aliens. "There's quite obviously demand for legal advice here," Jens Lorek told Reuters by telephone. "The trouble is, people are afraid of making fools of themselves in court." Asked if he was worried he might look ridiculous by seeking justice for clients haunted by aliens, Lorek was unfazed. "Nobody has laughed about it up until now."

#3 No more 7:05 p.m. or 7:35 p.m. games for the Chicago White Sox. They will all begin, for the next three seasons, at 7:11 p.m., courtesy of 7-Eleven, the convenience store giant, which will pay the team an average of a half-million dollars a year to be the name behind the time. “It’s a fun way to insert our name into fans’ hearts and minds,” said Margaret Chabris, a 7-Eleven spokeswoman. “We think it’s worth way more than $500,000.”

#4 If you thought your job was boring, then wait till you hear about the guy whose day is spent in watching paint dry. For Jackson, whose official title is technical manager at industrial paint manufacturers AquaTec Coatings, his whole day revolves watching how fast pain dries once applied, with the highlight being touching the paint to check its tackiness. And though he admits that that his job can be extremely tedious, and many people would probably think that it's the most boring job in the whole world, he still enjoys it.

Came across this quote which was just too good to pass up. I HAD to share it with you guys.

"It's vile. It's more sad than anything else, to see someone with such potential throw it all down the drain because of a sexual addiction."

By Congressman Mark Foley about Bill Clinton.
Circa 1998.

No Kidding. Check out this link.

Let’s see what’s happening…….there’s a corruption scandal in the air, explosives have been recovered from a Kashmiri temple, the Sensex is going nowhere, and Sania has lost in the first round of a tournament again. Or, in other words, just another normal day in India.

The corruption thing first. The CBI has filed a corruption case against George Fernandes in the purchase of Barak missile system from Israel in 2000. From Israel? Why Israel when North Korea is so much closer and reliable….

But Fernandes argues that he only did it after getting the approval of Abdul Kalam. Really? Kalam actually made a decision? Am not convinced…..look at how he is still dilly-dallying with the Afzal hanging thingy…

To top it, a letter traced back to 1999 confirms that President Abdul Kalam did NOT make the mistake of approving the missile deal. So, the only mistake Kalam has made so far is with his hairstyle……

Kiran Desai has won the UK's leading literary award, the Man Booker Prize. That’s right. She’s won the MAN Booker prize……I don’t understand that one….just like I don’t get how people celebrate Oktoberfest in September…..

Semantics apart, she won the award for her novel – ‘The Inheritance of Loss’. Did you know that her mother, Anita Desai was herself nominated three times for the prize but never won? That kinda explains the title of her book, doesn’t it? :- ))

This is unbelievable. Did you know that Moh’d Azharuddin is among the Indian captains invited for the BCCI's felicitation function next month? What next? Nominating Manoj Prabhakar and Ajay Jadeja for a Khel Ratna??

Let’s see what else is on. The Hamas still hates the Israelis; the Pakistanis are still bombing Kashmir, and most countries are against North Korea’s defiant stance. If its any consolation, at least Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie have ended their feud and are friends again……

The North Korean crisis. George Bush today made it clear that the US has absolutely no intention of invading N.Korea. You know why? ‘Cause unlike Iraq, he KNOWS that the Koreans actually have some damn WMDs. The US might get its ass kicked if it goes ahead with an invasion.

Apparently, the Chinese are also fast losing patience with North Korea over the nuclear weapon testing issue. Today, the Chinese PM was spotted yelling 'Don’t make come over there' at the Koreans from his side of the Great Wall.

A new study by the American Academy of Pediatrics says that for children to be healthy, they need to spend more time playing outside rather than sit in front of a computer. Well duh!!.........why do you need that study?......Congressman Foley has made sure everyone realizes that by now.

In related news, House Speaker Dennis Hastert is not sure whether he should resign or not following the Mark Foley scandal. But according to a CNN Poll released today, about half the Americans who took part in the poll believe that he should resign his post and half think he shouldn't. Hopefully this kind of a clear signal should help him in making the final decision : - )

A strange story. A woman in the US now wants to 'unadopt' her boy after learning about his troubled past with young girls. But enough about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.........

The big news first. North Korea has successfully conducted an underground nuclear weapons test today morning. And Ahmedinijad was going- ‘Underground. Underground. Stupid me….why didn’t I think of THAT?’

The tests have evoked uniform international criticism. To give you an idea to what extent, the Japanese PM said that the tests were provocative and destabilizing the region and the CHINESE PRESIDENT SAID THAT HE AGREED WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!

In fact, today, the Pope issued an angry statement that North Korea brought the world only evil things and Mel Gibson dismissed the Koreans of being worse than the Jews.

The question whether Mohammad Afzal should hanged or not has divided the entire nation. To be honest, we keep delaying the hanging and he is going to get the dengue sooner or later. What a waste……….what a waste.

That’s right. Dengue’s apparently killing everyone in North India and those who scramble down south are accounted for by Chickungunya. Am sure the visiting teams in town for the Champions Trophy are thrilled about this ;-)

Did you hear about this? Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got mobbed when they went on an auto rickshaw ride in Pune!!! This is soooooooo out of the blue. Since when did we become a country crazily obsessed with celebrities? I dint see that one coming…….

The latest buzz from Bihar is about Lalu unveiling a statue of Gandhi on a railway platform. But the Nitish Kumar government alleges that by unveiling a statue, Lalu has flouted an old directive from Nehru himself. If Nitish Kumar has his way, this could be the second time Gandhi finds himself chucked out of a railway station.

The commander of NATO forces in Afghanistan warned that the Afghans may switch their allegiance back to the Taliban due to the failure of the US to deliver on its promises. Forget the Afghans, looking at the job Bush is doing, it wouldn’t surprise me if a lot of Americans start siding with the Taliban soon.

In a move that could have a major impact on internet users, Google Inc. is looking at acquiring YouTube. Unless, of course, you are Chinese. In which case, you can carry on fiddling around with your noodles and chopsticks………this doesn’t concern you.

Contradicting reports in the media, Raul Castro claims his brother Fidel is doing pretty good. To clarify, he meant ‘doing pretty good’ compared to Ariel Sharon. Otherwise, not so much.

Today, Bill Gates has pledged to give the Nigerian President millions of dollars in aid. That’s nice. But can someone please tell Mr. Gates about how to deal with mails you receive from unknown Nigerians?

Hear this. A bunch of Mexican fishermen managed to capture a 7.5-foot crocodile in a local river!! You know what, I think we might have been over-hyping Steve Irwin a bit. Snaring a huge croc…..not so tough afterall!!

I know that I haven’t been regular of late……but hopefully things will be different from now onwards.
So it’s Sunday and time for the coveted ‘Clown of the Week’ award again.

Without much ado, let me announce that the COTW award goes to…………..Harbhajan Singh.

The off spinner is one of the funniest characters on the cricket field and manages to keep you amused with his antics. The way he bats gives you the impression that he uses his brain as sparingly as possible. And he seems to carry a similar attitude towards his activities off the cricket field.

Consider this. Bhajji claims to be a devout Sikh. And then he goes and acts in an advertisement with his hair open, which is apparently a big deal for the Sikh community. They even have an organization that keeps track of these atrocities – the Shiromani Gurudwara Prabandhak Committee (SCGP). These guys are up in arms and Bhajji has been apologizing to all and sundry in a manner that would put the Pope to shame.

"If my action has hurt the Sikh community, then I feel sorry for it.I respect the emotions of Sikhs and I never knew it will snowball into such a big issue." – says Bhajji.

Really? Then why did he act with his hair loose in a liquor advertisement, of all things? Did he really think that the dudes at the SCGP would be thrilled about it and send him a congratulatory note? Even by Bhajji’s lofty standards, this seems a considerable achievement.

And he manages to beat, Younis Khan, the other contender for this week’s award, hair down…..sorry hands down.

Way to go Bhajji bhai.