Surely You Gotto be Kidding Me !
Friday, September 01, 2006
Headlines : 1st September, Friday
Twas another hot hot day in Chennai. It was so hot that people were sweating like Intel employees checking their inbox for new mails.
In spite of the protests by the Muslims in Jharkhand, L.K.Advani is firm on the view that everyone has to sing ‘Vande Mataram’ on Sep 7th. You know what this means….the BJP feels that it has no chance of winning the elections in Jharkhand next year.
After all the brouhaha over the pesticide issue, PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi has beaten Congress President Sonia Gandhi in the Forbes’ 100 most powerful women’s list. Well, I guess the score now reads: Colas 1, India 0.
Meanwhile, Saurav Ganguly said in a CNN- IBN interview that it hurts him to be out of the team. Surprising to learn that it is hurting someone……….cause the team seems to be doing just fine in his absence….
That’s right. India coach Greg Chappell has ruled out Saurav making a return to the team. I don’t know if people are happy with the decision but the Sensex closed 75 points higher at 11,700 at close of business.
Sanjay Manjrekar, the former Indian batsman, has said that ball-tampering can be done without being caught on any of the numerous television cameras. (There are more than 50 cameras on the grounds these days, btw). It’s a stupid thing to say but the bright side is that no one really cares for his opinion…….
The body of Baloch leader Nawab Akbar Khan Bugti was buried on Friday by the Pakistani authorities in the absence of his relatives and fellow tribesmen. Seems they were all off to the theatres to watch ‘Lage Raho Munnabhai’ which released today.
The EU is soon going to begin a series of talks on a renewed plan for peace in the Middle East. Interestingly, the talks have been titled – ‘Let’s all get our asses outta there’
Hurricane ‘Ernesto’ has weakened to a tropical depression and will not cause as much damage as expected. I don’t think President Bush understands the concept here as his reaction to this was ‘Vamoos Ernesto!!!’
Meanwhile, citizens of Mexico’s Baja peninsula have been asked to evacuate the place immediately with Hurricane John heading that way. By citizens, one is of course referring to those ‘Californians’ on vacation in Mexico……:-)
In his speech today, George Bush has reaffirmed that the US must win the war in Iraq at any cost. I don’t know about the winning……. but he has already taken care of the ‘at any cost’ part’.
Andre Agassi has moved into the third round of the US Open with a 5 set win over Marcos Baghdatis. I don’t know if he got really tired after the match, but Agassi has asked for his next match to be held sometime in December.
In spite of the protests by the Muslims in Jharkhand, L.K.Advani is firm on the view that everyone has to sing ‘Vande Mataram’ on Sep 7th. You know what this means….the BJP feels that it has no chance of winning the elections in Jharkhand next year.
After all the brouhaha over the pesticide issue, PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi has beaten Congress President Sonia Gandhi in the Forbes’ 100 most powerful women’s list. Well, I guess the score now reads: Colas 1, India 0.
Meanwhile, Saurav Ganguly said in a CNN- IBN interview that it hurts him to be out of the team. Surprising to learn that it is hurting someone……….cause the team seems to be doing just fine in his absence….
That’s right. India coach Greg Chappell has ruled out Saurav making a return to the team. I don’t know if people are happy with the decision but the Sensex closed 75 points higher at 11,700 at close of business.
Sanjay Manjrekar, the former Indian batsman, has said that ball-tampering can be done without being caught on any of the numerous television cameras. (There are more than 50 cameras on the grounds these days, btw). It’s a stupid thing to say but the bright side is that no one really cares for his opinion…….
The body of Baloch leader Nawab Akbar Khan Bugti was buried on Friday by the Pakistani authorities in the absence of his relatives and fellow tribesmen. Seems they were all off to the theatres to watch ‘Lage Raho Munnabhai’ which released today.
The EU is soon going to begin a series of talks on a renewed plan for peace in the Middle East. Interestingly, the talks have been titled – ‘Let’s all get our asses outta there’
Hurricane ‘Ernesto’ has weakened to a tropical depression and will not cause as much damage as expected. I don’t think President Bush understands the concept here as his reaction to this was ‘Vamoos Ernesto!!!’
Meanwhile, citizens of Mexico’s Baja peninsula have been asked to evacuate the place immediately with Hurricane John heading that way. By citizens, one is of course referring to those ‘Californians’ on vacation in Mexico……:-)
In his speech today, George Bush has reaffirmed that the US must win the war in Iraq at any cost. I don’t know about the winning……. but he has already taken care of the ‘at any cost’ part’.
Andre Agassi has moved into the third round of the US Open with a 5 set win over Marcos Baghdatis. I don’t know if he got really tired after the match, but Agassi has asked for his next match to be held sometime in December.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Headlines : 31st August, Thursday
It was hot today in Chennai. People were sweating like Sharapova answering questions about her relationship with Andy Roddick.
Prime Minister Manmohan Singh while speaking at Delhi College said that he had strayed into politics by sheer accident. It’s quite clear it was an accident. For one, here he is, admitting the truth, when he is not even under any kind of interrogation.
The PM has also assured agitating MDMK leader Vaiko that India will not be sending any troops to Sri Lanka. I am not really surprised at this. Remember how the last PM’s plan to send military aid to Lanka ‘bombed’?
By the way, Herschelle Gibbs has confirmed that he will be coming on the tour of India next month. He says he has no problems with being interrogated by the Mumbai police. But he has definitely ruled out being interviewed by Karan Thapar.
India’s Shashi Tharoor, who is running for the post of UN Secretary General, argues that his lack of experience will not hamper his chances of getting elected. He says he can always learn getting ignored and rejected by every leader of every country while he is at the job. Like all his predecessors.
The Jharkand government has made it mandatory for all educational institutions to sing Vande Mataram on Sep 7. Those who don’t stick to the plan will be penalized. Bankim Chandra must be feeling so proud if he is watching this farce from up there in his heavenly abode…..
Israel is slowly handing over the border zone to the UN. The UN faces a tough task with most people in the country in a desperate situation. Ironically, I had Lebanese food yesterday at The Residency. Something the Lebanese themselves are struggling to do nowadays……
The President of Lebanon now faces the impossible task of rebuilding the country all over again. And speaking of impossible tasks……..President Bush is soon going to be starting a series of speeches where he will defend his strategy on the Iraq war.
Defending the Iraq war? Is that even possible? Only a complete nitwit with no understanding of the magnitude of the destruction and damage the war has done to both the US and Iraq can try defending it.........
I am sorry. I myself am not sure what’s my point here……J
The Pakistan army has found Baloch leader Nawab Akbar Bugti's body in a cave in southwest Balochistan. Sounds good. Now, they just have to find a way to get him to start moving again and all will be fine.
The One Day International series between England and Pakistan is underway.And again the Pakistan team failed to show up on the ground after the lunchbreak. But this time, it was because of the heavy rains............so its ok, I guess.
The following articles by Vishwa
It seems like "finger on your lips" is something that Arjun Singh never heard in his primary school. He thinks being in politics is about creating controversies. This time it is. Going forward, the children of the future will spend all their time at school singing some songs and those with reservation get to do higher studies and there again do the singing. India shinning! But this dude has to shut up some time.
Amarnath lingam has been tampered . How dare to do such a sacrilegious thing? Am I hearing Jayamala say a 'Yeti' pushed her onto the lingam?
Chennai turned 368 yesterday. I must say, it still looks to be in its sweet 16
Sachin earns 2000 times of what our PM earns. But it is a crappy comparison. We can't compare one who trashes the balls out of the ground with the other who has none.
Prime Minister Manmohan Singh while speaking at Delhi College said that he had strayed into politics by sheer accident. It’s quite clear it was an accident. For one, here he is, admitting the truth, when he is not even under any kind of interrogation.
The PM has also assured agitating MDMK leader Vaiko that India will not be sending any troops to Sri Lanka. I am not really surprised at this. Remember how the last PM’s plan to send military aid to Lanka ‘bombed’?
By the way, Herschelle Gibbs has confirmed that he will be coming on the tour of India next month. He says he has no problems with being interrogated by the Mumbai police. But he has definitely ruled out being interviewed by Karan Thapar.
India’s Shashi Tharoor, who is running for the post of UN Secretary General, argues that his lack of experience will not hamper his chances of getting elected. He says he can always learn getting ignored and rejected by every leader of every country while he is at the job. Like all his predecessors.
The Jharkand government has made it mandatory for all educational institutions to sing Vande Mataram on Sep 7. Those who don’t stick to the plan will be penalized. Bankim Chandra must be feeling so proud if he is watching this farce from up there in his heavenly abode…..
Israel is slowly handing over the border zone to the UN. The UN faces a tough task with most people in the country in a desperate situation. Ironically, I had Lebanese food yesterday at The Residency. Something the Lebanese themselves are struggling to do nowadays……
The President of Lebanon now faces the impossible task of rebuilding the country all over again. And speaking of impossible tasks……..President Bush is soon going to be starting a series of speeches where he will defend his strategy on the Iraq war.
Defending the Iraq war? Is that even possible? Only a complete nitwit with no understanding of the magnitude of the destruction and damage the war has done to both the US and Iraq can try defending it.........
I am sorry. I myself am not sure what’s my point here……J
The Pakistan army has found Baloch leader Nawab Akbar Bugti's body in a cave in southwest Balochistan. Sounds good. Now, they just have to find a way to get him to start moving again and all will be fine.
The One Day International series between England and Pakistan is underway.And again the Pakistan team failed to show up on the ground after the lunchbreak. But this time, it was because of the heavy rains............so its ok, I guess.
The following articles by Vishwa
It seems like "finger on your lips" is something that Arjun Singh never heard in his primary school. He thinks being in politics is about creating controversies. This time it is. Going forward, the children of the future will spend all their time at school singing some songs and those with reservation get to do higher studies and there again do the singing. India shinning! But this dude has to shut up some time.
Amarnath lingam has been tampered . How dare to do such a sacrilegious thing? Am I hearing Jayamala say a 'Yeti' pushed her onto the lingam?
Chennai turned 368 yesterday. I must say, it still looks to be in its sweet 16
Sachin earns 2000 times of what our PM earns. But it is a crappy comparison. We can't compare one who trashes the balls out of the ground with the other who has none.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
30th August, Wednesday : Top Ten List # 4
Its US Open time people. So today’s post is all about that. And the Top 10 list follows at the end…
The US Open began yesterday at Flushing Meadows, New York. It’s been raining both yesterday and today, delaying the match schedule. You know what this means? Sania could actually still be playing in the tournament after the first two days.
Maybe I am being too unkind to her. She has in fact won her first round match against Karolina Sprem. But this has thrown her travel schedule into chaos….she had already booked the return flight for yesterday night…..poor girl.
Tennis pundits are predicting another Federer-Nadal final. When asked if he expected to compete against anyone other than Nadal in the final, Roger replied – ‘What do you mean, compete?’
To give you an idea how dominant the top two players in the men’s draw are - The official seedings for the US Open this year reads 1– Federer, 2-Nadal and etc.
Irrespective of anything else, this US Open will be remembered for one thing, and one thing only. And everyone knows what that is. The whole tennis world is watching with anticipation. I am talking about the introduction of the ‘Instant replays’ rule.
Kidding. It is of course all about this being Andre Agassi’s last tournament. And he managed to win his first round match against Andrei Pavel. It was strange because everyone wanted Agassi to win – The crowd, the commentators, the chair umpire…. and Andrei Pavel too.
Speaking of which, today’s Top 10 List will be about Agassi’s retirement.
The list is written in reverse order starting with Number 10 and finishing with the Number 1....
The Top 10 reasons why I think Agassi has finally decided its time to retire from Tennis-
10. The crowds are now cheering for him each time he hits a ball over the net.
9. More and more people are now aware that his middle name is Kirk.
8. The last time he served an ace was in 2001.
7. He is currently ranked below someone named Dmitry Tursunov.
6. The ball-boys have started calling him ‘Sir’.
5. For the last 3 years, tournament organizers have been referring to his prize money as ‘pension’.
4. He is still 328 Grand Slam titles behind Steffi.
3. He is the only one playing who still remembers who Michael Stich is.
2. He has played fewer matches than Anna Kournikova this year.
1. Roger Federer.
The US Open began yesterday at Flushing Meadows, New York. It’s been raining both yesterday and today, delaying the match schedule. You know what this means? Sania could actually still be playing in the tournament after the first two days.
Maybe I am being too unkind to her. She has in fact won her first round match against Karolina Sprem. But this has thrown her travel schedule into chaos….she had already booked the return flight for yesterday night…..poor girl.
Tennis pundits are predicting another Federer-Nadal final. When asked if he expected to compete against anyone other than Nadal in the final, Roger replied – ‘What do you mean, compete?’
To give you an idea how dominant the top two players in the men’s draw are - The official seedings for the US Open this year reads 1– Federer, 2-Nadal and etc.
Irrespective of anything else, this US Open will be remembered for one thing, and one thing only. And everyone knows what that is. The whole tennis world is watching with anticipation. I am talking about the introduction of the ‘Instant replays’ rule.
Kidding. It is of course all about this being Andre Agassi’s last tournament. And he managed to win his first round match against Andrei Pavel. It was strange because everyone wanted Agassi to win – The crowd, the commentators, the chair umpire…. and Andrei Pavel too.
Speaking of which, today’s Top 10 List will be about Agassi’s retirement.
The list is written in reverse order starting with Number 10 and finishing with the Number 1....
The Top 10 reasons why I think Agassi has finally decided its time to retire from Tennis-
10. The crowds are now cheering for him each time he hits a ball over the net.
9. More and more people are now aware that his middle name is Kirk.
8. The last time he served an ace was in 2001.
7. He is currently ranked below someone named Dmitry Tursunov.
6. The ball-boys have started calling him ‘Sir’.
5. For the last 3 years, tournament organizers have been referring to his prize money as ‘pension’.
4. He is still 328 Grand Slam titles behind Steffi.
3. He is the only one playing who still remembers who Michael Stich is.
2. He has played fewer matches than Anna Kournikova this year.
1. Roger Federer.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Headlines : 28th July, Monday
A typical day in Chennai. It was so hot that people were sweating like Muslim kids trying to remember the lines of ‘Vande Mataram’ during the practice run at school.
It was so hot that people were sweating like Pervez Musharaff taking a vacation in Baluchistan.
Pakistan has promised India that it would do everything it can to help us in the war against terror. In an unrelated incident, a Pakistan court has set Muhammad Saeed, the founder of Lashkar-e-Toiba free from jail.
Hezbollah chief Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah has said he would not have ordered the capture of two Israeli soldiers if he had known it would lead to such a war. Sure man, no problem. Could have happened to anyone. It's not like you can take the trouble of considering the repercussions of each and every one of your actions before doing anything..........you just hope for the best and carry on.........
President Bush has said that he learnt his lessons from the disaster last year that was Hurricane Katrina. Specifically, he has learnt that Katrina is spelled with a K and not a C.
The UN is planning on sending a force of 15,000 troops for peacekeeping duty in Lebanon. Wow.....unless the UN is thinking of borrowing a few thousands from the Al Qaeda, I don’t see how it is going to make up the numbers.
That’s right. Most countries are hesitant in committing troops to the UN. In fact, France initially said they could send no more than 200 soldiers. Kofi Annan agreed to the offer, provided France included Zinedine Zidane in those 200 guys.
Andre Agassi has now asked the US Open organizers to give him $500,000 and he will retire from the sport without any fuss whatsoever.
Maria Esther de Capovilla, believed to be the world's oldest person, has died at the age of 116, in Ecuador. Apparently, she was witness to Kevin Federline's rap performance at the 2006 Teen choice music awards and decided it was just not worth carrying on anymore.................
The following articles by Vishwa
Pluto has been stripped of its planet title. It must have done some heinous crime. Wait a minute.. it cant. Not even remotely through natal charts. Though the reason is unknown, such a decision is sure to affect its mental state n can make its orbit even more eccentric.
I would suggest Pluto to take it easy and learn from Natwar singh; nothing wrong in being stripped of ministry or party membership or being involved in scam.
Chennai turns 368 tomorrow. I must say, it still looks to be in its sweet 16
Sachin earns 2000 times of what our PM earns. But it is a crappy comparison. We can't compare one who trashes the balls out of the ground with the other who has none.
It was so hot that people were sweating like Pervez Musharaff taking a vacation in Baluchistan.
Pakistan has promised India that it would do everything it can to help us in the war against terror. In an unrelated incident, a Pakistan court has set Muhammad Saeed, the founder of Lashkar-e-Toiba free from jail.
Hezbollah chief Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah has said he would not have ordered the capture of two Israeli soldiers if he had known it would lead to such a war. Sure man, no problem. Could have happened to anyone. It's not like you can take the trouble of considering the repercussions of each and every one of your actions before doing anything..........you just hope for the best and carry on.........
President Bush has said that he learnt his lessons from the disaster last year that was Hurricane Katrina. Specifically, he has learnt that Katrina is spelled with a K and not a C.
The UN is planning on sending a force of 15,000 troops for peacekeeping duty in Lebanon. Wow.....unless the UN is thinking of borrowing a few thousands from the Al Qaeda, I don’t see how it is going to make up the numbers.
That’s right. Most countries are hesitant in committing troops to the UN. In fact, France initially said they could send no more than 200 soldiers. Kofi Annan agreed to the offer, provided France included Zinedine Zidane in those 200 guys.
Andre Agassi has now asked the US Open organizers to give him $500,000 and he will retire from the sport without any fuss whatsoever.
Maria Esther de Capovilla, believed to be the world's oldest person, has died at the age of 116, in Ecuador. Apparently, she was witness to Kevin Federline's rap performance at the 2006 Teen choice music awards and decided it was just not worth carrying on anymore.................
The following articles by Vishwa
Pluto has been stripped of its planet title. It must have done some heinous crime. Wait a minute.. it cant. Not even remotely through natal charts. Though the reason is unknown, such a decision is sure to affect its mental state n can make its orbit even more eccentric.
I would suggest Pluto to take it easy and learn from Natwar singh; nothing wrong in being stripped of ministry or party membership or being involved in scam.
Chennai turns 368 tomorrow. I must say, it still looks to be in its sweet 16
Sachin earns 2000 times of what our PM earns. But it is a crappy comparison. We can't compare one who trashes the balls out of the ground with the other who has none.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
27th August, Sunday : Clown of the Week # 2
So…..are you as excited about who is going to win the Clown of the Week (COTW) award the second time around? Cause let me make one thing very clear at the outset…….unlike some people, I am really taking this award quite seriously. It’s not as fancy as the Oscar’s or the Emmy’s but it makes up for it by……by.….er…..ok fine. Moving on……
The winner of the ‘Clown of the Week’ award is…………Punit Sablok.
Let me explain…….he is the owner of the new restaurant ‘Hitler’s Cross’, that opened this week in Mumbai.
Do I need to say more? ‘Hitler’s Cross’!! He was actually stupid enough to name the place ‘Hitler’s Cross’. Can you believe that? Let’s follow the logic behind this bizarre decision.
"We wanted to be different. This is one name that will stay in people's minds," says Punit. He sure got that part right. It does stay in your mind, doesn’t it? Like how Chernobyl does…..or maybe FEMA…..you know, disasters!!!
“We just wanted to tell people we are different in the way Hitler was different" contends Mr.Sablok. Oh really????????..............Surely he cannot be serious?
"This place is not about wars or crimes, but where people come to relax and enjoy a meal," he says. But consider this. They have actually put up a huge portrait of a stern-looking Fuehrer that greets visitors at the door. Now, if THAT doesn’t get people all relaxed and cozy, then what will?
Considering all the flak they have been getting over the Lebanon tussle, this is last thing the Jews needed right now. And following the oh-so-expected protests by the Jewish community in Mumbai, Punit assures us -"We have decided to change the name of our restaurant and remove all signs and articles associated with Hitler and Nazism in and around it."
But overall, the thing that clichéd the award in his favor was that he actually thought he could name his restaurant ‘Hitler’s Cross’ and get away with it. In fact, he was planning to turn the eatery's name into a brand with branches throughout Mumbai. Oh my God!!!
He wins the award hands down this week and I bet no ones arguing :)
(Close runners-up for the award were:
Singer Madonna –who has been lobbying the government and nuclear industry over a scheme to clean up radioactive waste with a supposedly magic Kabbalah fluid.
and
Kevin ‘Britney’s man’ Federline – who had a disastrous debut as a rapper at the 2006 Teen Choice awards.)
The winner of the ‘Clown of the Week’ award is…………Punit Sablok.
Let me explain…….he is the owner of the new restaurant ‘Hitler’s Cross’, that opened this week in Mumbai.
Do I need to say more? ‘Hitler’s Cross’!! He was actually stupid enough to name the place ‘Hitler’s Cross’. Can you believe that? Let’s follow the logic behind this bizarre decision.
"We wanted to be different. This is one name that will stay in people's minds," says Punit. He sure got that part right. It does stay in your mind, doesn’t it? Like how Chernobyl does…..or maybe FEMA…..you know, disasters!!!
“We just wanted to tell people we are different in the way Hitler was different" contends Mr.Sablok. Oh really????????..............Surely he cannot be serious?
"This place is not about wars or crimes, but where people come to relax and enjoy a meal," he says. But consider this. They have actually put up a huge portrait of a stern-looking Fuehrer that greets visitors at the door. Now, if THAT doesn’t get people all relaxed and cozy, then what will?
Considering all the flak they have been getting over the Lebanon tussle, this is last thing the Jews needed right now. And following the oh-so-expected protests by the Jewish community in Mumbai, Punit assures us -"We have decided to change the name of our restaurant and remove all signs and articles associated with Hitler and Nazism in and around it."
But overall, the thing that clichéd the award in his favor was that he actually thought he could name his restaurant ‘Hitler’s Cross’ and get away with it. In fact, he was planning to turn the eatery's name into a brand with branches throughout Mumbai. Oh my God!!!
He wins the award hands down this week and I bet no ones arguing :)
(Close runners-up for the award were:
Singer Madonna –who has been lobbying the government and nuclear industry over a scheme to clean up radioactive waste with a supposedly magic Kabbalah fluid.
and
Kevin ‘Britney’s man’ Federline – who had a disastrous debut as a rapper at the 2006 Teen Choice awards.)
