This blog will attempt to highlight the humourous aspects of actual news stories and events from around the world. The contents can be funny,stupid,bizzare and sometimes downright disturbing. Hopefully, it will be more interesting than anything you are likely to read in THE HINDU editorial column.

Surely You Gotto be Kidding Me !

Monday, February 04, 2008

Headlines : February 4th, 2008

It’s official now. Nicolas Sarkozy is the new Sultan of Bruni (pardon the pun). In fact, he was as rich as the other Sultan of Brunei till he started paying those alimony cheques to his ex-wives.

Public reaction to Carlo Bruni has been mixed. She is an ex-supermodel and singer with a long list of past boyfriends. She was even portrayed in the French media as someone “beautiful and bionic, with an immobile face, as if sculpted in wax". No wait, that was Arnold Schwarzenegger. Not her.

But since the announcement of the wedding, Sarkozy’s popularity has dipped considerably. In fact, experts say that his poll ratings are plunging as low as Carlo Bruni’s neckline.

India had a disruption of internet service last week as a result of breaks in three vital undersea Internet cables. So Yahoo! Search was slower than usual though Microsoft had not even bought the company yet.

The 45 billion dollar deal in the offing that has stunned the internet world. The last time Steve Ballmer offered that kind of money for a merger was when he asked his wife to marry him.

Raj Thackeray in the news. His offensive against North Indians and Amitabh Bachchan led to his Maharashtra Navnirman Sena (MNS) activists turning to violence in Mumbai. Looks like MNS actually stands for Mindless Numb-Skulls.

Raj Thackeray accused Amitabh Bachchan of making his money in Maharashstra but deciding to do things elsewhere in India. In his defense, at least Amitabh never paid taxes anywhere.

The cold spell continued in Bombay with the coldest Feb 1st recorded in the last 48 years. Little wonder that the bulls have gone AWOL and the bears are ruling at the Sensex.

With a backlog of 30 million court cases, Prathiba Patil feels that the law needs to change. She says that there is the need for dispensing quick justice without too much emphasis on protocol and formality. She is going to hand over the situation to the BCCI.

Speaking of courts, the Supreme Court rejected a petition seeking action against Narayana Murthy for allegedly insulting the national anthem by playing its instrumental version. The court ruled that instrumental versions were OK as long as it was not played by Saif Ali Khan.

So what’s with Saif Ali Khan and his guitar and his stupid stage shows?? If Mumbai-ites wanted to see tired old men on cocaine pretending to be hep rock stars, they would go see the Iron Maiden concert instead.

The government may raise petrol price by Rs 2 per litre and diesel by Re 1 per litre this week. Ratan Tata has now promised to work on making petrol that only costs 3 Rs/litre.

In a new study, Italian Urologist Dr. Maria Cerruto suggested that wearing stilettos can improve an average woman’s sex life. But only if you already have a boyfriend, she quickly clarified.

1 Comments:

Vetti Guy I take strong objection to the point you have made in the headline thats third from the bottom. Iron Maiden may be old but, if you had been here on 1st Feb, you would have realised that 'tired' they are not. Any they were not on cocaine ane they do not pretend to be rock stars. They are Metal Gods.

Kay

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