This blog will attempt to highlight the humourous aspects of actual news stories and events from around the world. The contents can be funny,stupid,bizzare and sometimes downright disturbing. Hopefully, it will be more interesting than anything you are likely to read in THE HINDU editorial column.

Surely You Gotto be Kidding Me !

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Headlines : May 2nd, 2007

US President George W. Bush has vetoed a contentious Iraq war funding bill that sets a deadline for the withdrawal of US troops. His argument seems valid – if a bunch of Sunni tribals can account for al qaeda’s top man, the 300,000 marines in Iraq better not come back if they cant even get a piece of Osama’s beard.

However, the al-Qaeda has denied that its leader Abu Ayyub al-Masri has been killed. They state that the whole thing was just a fake encounter staged by some IPS officers from Gujrat.

Speaking of which, it now emerges that the Gujrat IPS officers used the help of colleagues from Andhra in the Sohrabuddin murder. Wow!! How incompetant and lazy must they be if they need outside help in dealing with an unarmed innocent civilian in a fake encounter? Classic Indian cop mentality…….

Rahul Gandhi is now working on a new approach for the UP elections by trying to reach out to people who are in distress. And by people in distress, I am referring to members of his own Congress party, whose chances Rahul has severly hurt by his childish remarks about Bangladesh and the Babri Masjid demolitoin.

Actor Sarath Kumar is all set to launch a new party in Tamil Nadu. He plans to name it MKDKM, thereby further confusing voters who are already struggling to differentiate between DMK, AIADMK, DMDK, KNPH and DDLJ.

He opined that the present day youth was largely misguided and needed proper leadership to instruct them. This is largely true, at least for the ones who go to theatres to watch his movies.

Bad news. Sachin Tendulkar injured his ankle in training today. But the master blaster allayed the fears of cricket fans confirming that there was nothing to worry about and he would still be available to act in ads at all times.

Meanwhile, the Indian team’s preparations for the Bangladesh tour start with a fitness camp, with fielding and stamina, ostensibly the key focus points. No word yet about winning, though.

Google has renamed its plain-sounding Google Personalized Homepage with the cooler sounding iGoogle. Google expects this to become a hit just because it sounds hep even though it has added no new features apart from the little I fixed before google. Hey! If it worked for the iPod…….

Dell is finally moving forward with plans to sell computers installed with Linux rather than Microsoft's Windows following constumer demand to that effect. Dell executives admitted to being surprised initially when they learnt that customers preferred not to pay hundreds of dollars for Windows when they could get that other open source thingie for free. I am myself surprised Dell is still in business……the dolts.

The Bancroft family that controls Dow Jones announced that it has rejected the audacious $5bill. bid from Rupert Murdoch to buy the company. They said that they had other factors to consider and it was not about making money and being coldly businesslike. Excuse me, but isn’t that what The Wall Street Jounal is all about??

Item girl Rakhi Sawant is upset that Budhist protestors in Nagpur burnt her effigy for hurting their sentiments. She defiantly argues that the effigy was absurdly dressed with a white top on a green skirt – a combo she would never ever consider.

4 Comments:

Nice! Forget withdrawal of troops, now the British are planning to send Master Harry to learn how to become a wartime hero. Serves him right, for all the drinking binges, anti-semitic portrayals( remember that?? what an idiot!, esp. knowin the tabloids follow him everyuwer).
I think this Sohrabuddin guy must have been a bollywood hero in flesh and blood. That's why the joint-venture between AP and Gujju police. Wonder why the TN police got missed out??
Sachin Tendulkar is outta bounds!
dont you dare go there! :)
great read!

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