This blog will attempt to highlight the humourous aspects of actual news stories and events from around the world. The contents can be funny,stupid,bizzare and sometimes downright disturbing. Hopefully, it will be more interesting than anything you are likely to read in THE HINDU editorial column.

Surely You Gotto be Kidding Me !

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Headlines : 3rd December, Sunday

Weekend news update.

Navjot Singh Sidhu has been found guilty of culpable homicide in the 1998 road rage case where he killed a man in a street fight. I say put him in jail with a few of those rioting Dalits who are causing trouble lately. They should take care of each other I think.

Have some bad news. Seema Antil, the national record holder in Discus Throw, has tested positive in dope tests conducted before the Asian Games. It’s a serious issue. This does give the Indian Olympic Association - pardon the PJ -something to discuss in real earnest with its athletes.

Manmohan watch. The PM is in Manipur right now to assure the people of state that the centre had not forgotten its existence. He agreed that they were entitled to the same privileges and protection of laws enjoyed by other citizens. Which is why the govt. had taken no initiatives there till now, he explained.

Scotching speculation that he will re-enter politics, Amitabh Bachchan has confirmed that he has no such plans since he is "totally inadequate" for the job. Well......going by that line of reasoning, how come he didn’t stop Abhishek from entering the movie business??

It seems Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld had recently advised President Bush that the administration's strategy in Iraq was not working. Rumsfeld said he could observe several indications to that effect. And the clearest one must have been the fact that he got fired, methinks :-)

Meanwhile, George Bush promised Americans that his administration has a solid plan in place to improve the situation in Iraq. Oh well....his party losing the mid-term election is a good first step if you ask me.

Hugo Chavez is seeking a new six-year term to complete his socialist revolution in the presidential elections coming up. His main challenger, Manuel Rosales, wants to keep a market-based system. The voting population is apparently divided into two factions - the ones who disapprove of Hugo Chavez and on the other side, his family.

Ex-Seinfeld actor Michael Richards has pledged to apologize in person to four black audience members he targeted in a recent racist outburst. Well, that might seem like a big deal. But only until you realize that he did insult them in person, in the first place.

Paris Hilton has canceled her appearance at next week's Billboard Music Awards because she didn't like the jokes written for her. The producers of the show were disappointed. 'The jokes weren't THAT bad. It wasn't as if we had John Kerry write them, you know' - they said when speaking to the press.

This is weird. A Chinese teenager tried to kill himself after running up a massive bill calling phone sex numbers. It seems the longest call ran for more than 4 hours!!! But that’s not the creepy part. On the other end of the phone - Mark Foley.

Sad news. A snake charmer who made a name for himself as Malaysia's Snake King has died after being bitten by a king cobra. A pity.......but hey! If it can happen to Steve Irwin........

A new study provides the first-ever scientific proof that if you eat slowly, you will eat less. Wow......what a breakthrough!! The scientists who worked on this "study" are also excited about their next two projects - verifying if people who sleep a lot really have more dreams and whether men who drive their cars to office get less exercise.

1 Comments:

So... did the Chinese teenager... indulged in too much ophone sex... get hard of hearing ?

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