This blog will attempt to highlight the humourous aspects of actual news stories and events from around the world. The contents can be funny,stupid,bizzare and sometimes downright disturbing. Hopefully, it will be more interesting than anything you are likely to read in THE HINDU editorial column.

Surely You Gotto be Kidding Me !

Monday, October 16, 2006

Headlines : 16th October, Monday

Sometimes I just feel like leaving everything and going off on a vacation to Hawaii. You know, it’s a dream getaway………the beaches, the warm sun, the wine, the earthquakes……….

Wait a minute, you say. The earthquakes? Indeed. Today, there was a strong earthquake in Hawaii that shook up most of the state. The Governor of Hawaii solemnly announced that it was no big deal – they were just testing a few nuclear weapons on the sidelines.

The earthquake caused a major power outage in the state. People were clueless, scared and running like mad in the dark…..and not just on the sets of LOST, mind you !!

Shoib Akhtar said before coming to India for the Champions Trophy that he wanted to be aggressive and very positive. Well, I don’t know about the aggression but he has been tested positive for sure.

That’s right. In a sensational development, Pakistan pacemen Shoaib Akhtar and Mohammad Asif have tested positive for banned drugs. What is this? Pakistanis caught cheating? Somewhere, Darrel Hair is reading about this in his morning paper and mumbling ‘I told you so’

As expected, Shoib Akhtar claims that he never knowingly took any performance enhancing drugs. He is blaming it all on a tuna sandwich Shane Warne’s mom sent him a couple of days ago.

The Sensex has crossed the 12,950 mark people!! But before you go out on to the streets and start dancing – the dengue death toll has crossed 100 as of now…..

The Barak deal scandal. George Fernandes has now accused the PM of mis-using natoinal resources like the CBI for personal motives. Sure. When it comes to mis-using the country’s resources for personal benefits, Fernandes knows what he is talking about!!

Lalu Prasad Yadav today revealed that he did not want to be the Railway Minister when he was given the job in 2004. I think I speak for all of us when I say – ‘None of us wanted you to be a minister either, man….’

The Saddam Hussein trial verdict is expected by November 5th. No idea about the Mohammad Afzal thing but at least Saddam will know for sure by Nov. 5th.

Onto Afghanistan. The troops fighting the local insurgents are facing an unexpected challenge – the Taliban are hiding inside 10-feet high marijuana plants and using them as cover. Well, well, well…..this explains why the war’s been taking forever to end……the troops just don’t want to come back home.

A milestone for the US. The population of the country touched 300 million today morning. In a speech, President Bush said that 300 million was fine and all that but argued that they could have reached the mark a lot earlier had it not been for deaths caused by 9/11.

Branjelina update. The couple is now in Goa apparently. It seems they wanted a low-key location where they could spend some quiet time together as a family. Goa in October. Makes sense, doesn’t it? Totally secluded and away from all human contact.

3 Comments:

LOL :)
A man of his word, his claim was tested and vindicated...i'm damn sure he'd have been aggressive too if only they had let him....see that's what i like abt him, at least he doesn't make bizarre claims based on nothing like some of the indians...his soundbytes are the result of meticulous planning and execution too....
Lol!!!I was just wondering about our goa trekking!!:)

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