This blog will attempt to highlight the humourous aspects of actual news stories and events from around the world. The contents can be funny,stupid,bizzare and sometimes downright disturbing. Hopefully, it will be more interesting than anything you are likely to read in THE HINDU editorial column.

Surely You Gotto be Kidding Me !

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Headlines : 2nd August, Wednesday

Sachin is now endorsing a new product. Pesticides. Well....actually, he is still the brand ambassador for Pepsi but apparently, the drink can ALSO kill that annoying rat nibbling your shirt in the closet.

That's right. The latest CSE report says that the pesticide content in soft drinks is higher than ever before. On the other hand, I see SachinTendulkar on TV everyday putting his reputation on the line and assuring me that Pepsi is the best thing for me to drink. Hmmmm.........wonder who I should trust here.........

It seems that in the samples that were tested, the pesticide content was more than 200 times the allowed limit set by the Bureau of Indian Standards (BIS). Wait a minute, allowed limit? Allowed limit? When did I agree to that?? I don’t want ANY pesticides in what I drink!!!

The mole controversy. Jaswant Singh now says that he doesn’t know the name of the mole. He also denies ever claiming he knew the name of the spy. Does this mean he has been screwing around with all of us so far? I say put him in jail…….with molestation charges.

But he does confirm that the ‘mole’ is someone well-known who no longer lives in India. Right…… well-known. No longer in India. This should be pretty simple tracking down this person. There are just a few million people who match this description. Should be a cinch.

The Congress has moved a privilege motion in the Rajya Sabha against Leader of the Opposition Jaswant Singh for misleading the House. Jaswant now says that he never knew that he was the Leader of the Opposition and he never claimed any such thing.

Pakistan is calling on India to provide specific information and intelligence on the Mumbai blasts so that they can also help with the investigation. Yeah, right. Information…..intelligence……as if we have any of that ready with us. Are they just mocking us here?

The Middle East conflict. The Hezbollah have fired a record 190 rockets at Israel today. In spite of that, they could only manage to kill one Israeli guy riding a cycle. What a waste of so many rockets!!!. On the plus side, it’s comforting to know that India is not the only one firing rockets aimlessly these days.

UN chief Kofi Annan is now focusing on the achieving peace in Darfur. If the UN can be as successful here as it was with the Israeli-Hezbollah conflict……..then………..nothing might get done here too.

Fidel Castro has recovered well after his operation. Not everyone is happy about it though. There are a lot of rebel Cubans in Miami who were actually celebrating his demise from power. They even refer to him as ‘Infidel’ Castro.

2 Comments:

OOOOOOOO MYYYYYYYYYY GODDDDDDDDDDD!

MOLEstation - u r RANGEEEEEEE
well we all know there is a mole
surely its not ashley cole
this guy has no soul
maybe he's in the north pole

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