This blog will attempt to highlight the humourous aspects of actual news stories and events from around the world. The contents can be funny,stupid,bizzare and sometimes downright disturbing. Hopefully, it will be more interesting than anything you are likely to read in THE HINDU editorial column.

Surely You Gotto be Kidding Me !

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Headlines : 1st August, Tuesday

Back to being hot in Chennai again. People were sweating like Fidel Castro watching an episode of ER.

That’s right. The 79-year old Cuban leader has handed the power over to his brother since he has an intestinal surgery operation coming up. An old politician forced to relinquish power due to health reasons? Seems to happen everywhere, except here in Tamil Nadu.

Total chaos in the Rajya Sabha today. Manmohan Singh was in a belligerent mood. He demanded that Jaswant Singh come out openly and honestly reveal the name of the mole. It was at this point when all the honorable members broke into hysterical laughter.

A politician being asked to be open and honest? Even the PM had the decency to admit later that he got carried away a bit there.

And hear this. On top of this US mole controversy, Jaswant Singh has now accused the PM of opposing the nuclear tests India conducted during 1994-1996. Manmohan countered this saying – ‘Jaswant is doing this just to deflect attention from the mole controversy’. To which, Jaswant said – ‘Well, duh!!!’

The floods in Gujarat. The Army has now been called in to help in the rescue operations. And why not? They are no good in keeping the militants quiet in Kashmir. Let them do something useful at least……..

The FBI has identified some terrorist camps in Kashmir using advanced satellite images. The Pakistani President was stunned on hearing this. He was asking – ‘What is this now? I thought everybody knew about the terrorist camps already. Why mess around with satellites and stuff?’

Pakistan on Tuesday emphasized that 'phenomenon of terrorism' should not be allowed to have any impact on Indo-Pak ties. Totally reasonable, if you ask me. Just because they support the terrorists and just because they are behind all the major bombings in India doesn’t mean they are not our friends, right?

In the meanwhile, the LTTE and the Lankan army are also at it again. But no one seems to notice this with all the fireworks going on in Lebanon. It’s like having a match between Zimbabwe and Bangladesh when the Ashes series is in full swing.

This is amazing. A 4-year old boy in Patna has been accused of assaulting and molesting a woman. Wait wait wait…..let me rephrase that……he has been accused of assaulting and TRYING to molest a woman….hehehehe.

A 4-year old molesting an old woman? Finally India has its very own Ashton Kutcher. Yay!!

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