This blog will attempt to highlight the humourous aspects of actual news stories and events from around the world. The contents can be funny,stupid,bizzare and sometimes downright disturbing. Hopefully, it will be more interesting than anything you are likely to read in THE HINDU editorial column.

Surely You Gotto be Kidding Me !

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Headlines : 4th July, Tuesday

Heavy rains for the third straight day in Bombay. Everyone was stuck indoors. But they still managed to be rude to each other over phone.

In contrast, Delhi has been facing soaring temperatures of 40 degrees !!!!!On top of this, people are faced with 8 hour long power cuts daily.....poor guys, I guess this is what they call 'capital punishment'.

Even after his battling win with the Arcelor bid, Lakhsmi Mittal doesn't regard himself as an 'Alexander' (metaphorically speaking). Well, sure. Considering that he has just shelled out $35 Billion, he is a lot more like Diogenes right now.............you know, wondering where his next meal is coming from :-)

The Union Ministry is proposing to build a bullet-proof structure around some of the idols in Ayodhya. Really? Do we need to do this?..........How about not using guns inside the temple for a change? I think that would work too. We can have a sign outside - ' Please leave footwear and fire-arms here before entering'. I have faith that people will respond to such gentle suggestions.

This is worrying. 5 men have been arrested in a medical exam paper leak case in Punjab. What is worrying is not the fact that they were cheating -but getting caught by the police. How clumsy were they if even the local police managed to trace them?

The Lankan issue. India is asking Sri lanka to recognise that the LTTE is running a 'de facto' government in the island. The problem - the Lankan Govt. doesn't know what 'de facto' means.

A survey has revealed that Britishers don't like Americans all that much. Looks as if the feeling could be mutual. In fact, there are no American men or women left in Wimbledon in the second week. They have all left already.

Do you know why Sania Mirza drinks Sprite and not beer?
Cause she usually gets knocked out after the first ‘round’.

A fresh report from Iraq. A US soldier has been accused of raping a local woman. And he is not the first one facing such charges. Here's my question........I don't know why Americans and Muslims can't get together..........I agree that the US got screwed by Muslims in 9/11..............but then, the Americans seems to be having a lot of fun screwing Muslims as well........its a perfect match as far as I can see.

China has completed its ambitious project of building a railroad connecting Tibet with mainland China. Well well well.............no wonder these monks are selling their Ferraris all over the place..........who wants to spend money on gas when you can just take the local train to Beijing?

A large asteroid has zipped past earth today.......thank god it didn't hit us. I can't even imagine the consequences if it had. FIFA President Sepp Blatter couldn't agree more. He says - ' This is just the sort of thing we don't need right now .......with the World Cup semi-finals coming up later in the evening'.

The following articles by Vishwa :-)

A correction in property market is around the corner. The prices are falling faster than suicide rates at vidharbha. In Delhi though, buildings themselves are falling faster than the prices.

As Mumbai reels under heavy rains, people are unable to meet each other are depressed not being able to be rude.

"We are better prepared this time" says the CM of Maharashtra. He meant he was ready with a list of excuses and responses he may give, once the whole of Mumbai submerges.

Britons see America as a cruel, vulgar, arrogant society, racially-divided, crime-ridden obsessed with money and led by an incompetent president, according to a newspaper poll. Prince Charles almost chocked himself before he cud complete the sentence. The survey was initially conducted in the Middle East and every word had to be censored.

2 Comments:

Mr Ajapathy, "capital punishment" joke..hmm..seri illa :-))) but very witty da..good to see that u are able to sustain it everyday

-Sriram
Macha, the same i wanted to tell. Your perseverence is looked up to!!! keep it up!!

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