This blog will attempt to highlight the humourous aspects of actual news stories and events from around the world. The contents can be funny,stupid,bizzare and sometimes downright disturbing. Hopefully, it will be more interesting than anything you are likely to read in THE HINDU editorial column.

Surely You Gotto be Kidding Me !

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Headlines : 27th June, Tuesday

It was a hot day in the North. People were sweating like Hrithik Roshan watching the trailer of 'Superman Returns'.

The situation in Sri Lanka is getting out of hand. The LTTE and the government are seemingly hell bent on killing each other. I am thinking, now that Superman has made his return, how about rushing him to Lanka and making it his main priority to calm things down a bit?

Or even better, how about asking Superman to get a seat in Delhi University this year? Let me see the dude pull THAT stunt off....................

Thats right. Even with 90 % marks in their exams, students are struggling to get admission into the prestigious Delhi University. Competition is that high. To give you an idea of how the odds are stacked against these students : bookies are giving Saurav a better chance of getting his place back in the Indian team.

The CBI is now handling the sex racket scandal in Kashmir. Say what you want, but I really admire our politicians. In spite of all the bombings, the murders, the terrorists roaming about in large, the total lack of law and order, living in a state of perpetual fear.................. these guys have still managed to get themselves involved in a sex scandal involving 12 year old girls. You really have to admire them for it. You really do.

The Hyderabad Nizam has been ordered to pay his ex-wife 15 Crores in Alimony by a local court. The Nizam is understandably upset. He asks - "Why should I pay so much money for something I don't really care about? Just because the law wants me to?".............Surprisingly, that is the same logic Amitabh Bachan used in deciding not to pay his taxes to the state.

A report says that drug usage in Europe has reached alarming proportions.Worryingly, this is just from the tests done on the cyclists participating in the Tour de France next month.

Researchers have now found a slithering slimy snake that changes its colour depending on its surroundings and whichever will best help it survive. Wow.The researchers are tentatively calling it "Vaiko" till they come up with a proper scientific name.

Monks in Thailand have been giving their meditation routines a skip and are instead watching the football World Cup matches all night. I am speechless......what kind of monks are they? Not the kind you read about in books for sure......you know, the ones who sell off their Ferraris and stuff? These monks hardly seem to be from that grand tradition ..........

Potter news. JK Rowling has revealed that she plans to kill off at least two more characters in the last Harry Potter book. Rumours have it that Dick Cheney makes a guest appearance in the book. He accidentaly shoots off Ron Weasley and Hermione when the three of them go Unicorn hunting in the Enchaned Forest at Hogwarts.

Brad Pitt has been honoured for the charity work he has done in recent times. And why not? .......he deserves it. Specifically, his giving away of Jennifer Aniston to Vince Vaughan for free has been a highlight. How stupid was that?? ( Although her replacement isnt too bad either....... )

This is simply amazing. Check out the photo. A HALF-TON man in Mexico has lost 200 pounds after following a strict dietary regime. Actually...thats a bit of a stretch......all he did was skip breakfast on Friday : - ))))

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