This blog will attempt to highlight the humourous aspects of actual news stories and events from around the world. The contents can be funny,stupid,bizzare and sometimes downright disturbing. Hopefully, it will be more interesting than anything you are likely to read in THE HINDU editorial column.

Surely You Gotto be Kidding Me !

Friday, May 19, 2006

Headlines : 19th May, Friday

Its back to being hot again. Damn. It was so hot today that I was sweating like Mohammed Kaif waiting for the team news to be announced.

The Quota debacle continues for another day. Doctors all over India are on strike. In Delhi, the doctors have written a formal letter to the HRD Minister, Arjun Singh, asking him and the government to reconsider their decision. I think this is a doomed effort. For one, when was the last time anyone understood a Doctor's handwriting? And to top that, most of the Cabinet members dont even recognise their own name when they see it in English. So good luck with the letter :-))))

And this is just ridiculous. Of all people, Infosys Chairman Narayana Murthy has voiced his opinion on the Quota issue. He says the government should focus on Quality rather than increase the quantity of seats in Institutions. Yeah, right. His company recruited more than 30,000 software engineers last year alone !! I am sure the quality factor was the first thing on his mind when was busy hiring the masses.........

The TNPCEE exams have begun yesterday. Students say that the first two papers - Biology and Physics- were quite easy. I am sure they were. Especially, since its highly probable that every student had a copy of the exam paper a couple of days in advance !!!!

Laxmi Mittal has made another offer to pay European steel maker Arcelor over 23 Billion and acquire the company. 23 Billion, no less. And yet, Arcelor calls it a 'hostile bid'. People can make anything sound bad. The last time an Indian offered someone so much money and still ended up looking bad involved Kapil Dev and a crying incident on BBC's Hardtalk.

I can't believe we are still investigating Netaji's death. In all probability, he has been dead for so long that he could be a source of fossil fuel in a few years time. Besides, when has anyone survived a crash involving an Indian plane? Sometimes, people die when there is not even a crash. Its the lethal combination of awful food served by overweight middle-aged air-hostesses that does the trick.

Something to be thankful about. Did you know that in Africa , it costs around $1,800 to download 1GB of data from the internet? Thats right. The next time you nonchalantly type in the search string ' Threesome + hot babes' in Google, spare a thought for those in Africa who have to use their kid's college funds just to satisfy this fundamental requirement of every human being.

The following news articles contributed by Srivats :-)

Lallu has inaugurated a broad gauge line between some where in Uttar Pradhesh. He said it was broad enough for his wife and himself to sleep on the track side by side.

The new AirBus A380 made its maiden flight to Heathrow. Its rumoured to be large enough to fit the Indian Cabinet.

Britney apparently wants to act with her Hollywood idol George Clooney. His only reply seems to have been "Good Nite and Good Luck".

They are planning to release "The Da Vinci Code" in Tamil, its called "The Da Munshi Pudhir".

When Information and Broadcasting minister Dasmunshi said that a big and legible disclaimer would be displayed before the screening the of "The Da Vinci Code" saying that it is a work of fiction. Apparently the Times of India has been using the same disclaimer for the past 5 years on all its newspapers.

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