This blog will attempt to highlight the humourous aspects of actual news stories and events from around the world. The contents can be funny,stupid,bizzare and sometimes downright disturbing. Hopefully, it will be more interesting than anything you are likely to read in THE HINDU editorial column.

Surely You Gotto be Kidding Me !

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Headlines : 18th May, Thursday

Today, the climate was delightful in Chennai. So much so that all three elevators in my office were working at the same time.

Everyones waiting for the 4-member panel of the government to make the crucial decision. The issue is so vital to youngsters in the country and the concerned Minister does not want to make any hasty decision that would create even more chaos. So will The Da Vinci Code be released in India or not ?? :-)))

In related news, the movie was screened at the Cannes Film Festival yesterday with great expectations. However, the reviews for the movie were pretty bad and the media spotlight was firmly on Tom Hanks, whose performance has been described as awful and wooden . Not surprisingly, Aishwarya Rai was spotted in a corner pumping her fists and shouting 'Oh yes......yes!!!!'.

The Sensex has crashed like nobody's business. Down 600 points in a day. What could be the reason? Expert Stock Analysts are convinced that the cause is this piece of bad news that came in this morning - It seems that Netaji did NOT actually die in the air crash in 1945 !!!!!! . The Inquiry Commision has confirmed that there is no evidence indicating it and there is no positive info avaable about what the hell happened to him. :- )))
But seriously, does anyone really care if the old man is alive or not? And even if he was alive, I dont think he would want to come back to India - considering the state of the country. Just leave him alone, I say !!

Here's something sad. When Nepal's new Parliament gets over with its deliberations, King Gyanendra may be a King in just his name. The Parliament is expected to strip the King of his vast powers and confine him to a purely ceremonial role. When Manmohan Singh heard about this, he sent a note to King Gyanendra that said - ' Dude, welcome to the Namesake Club'. It was the same note that Abdul Kalam had sent Manmohan Singh when the latter was techincally appointed "Prime Minister of India".

Something funny. Did you know that the Ekta Kapoor's soap - "Kyun Ki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi" is extremely popular in Afghanistan? Oh yeah, it seems the women in the country can be found watching it everyday without fail. Maybe they like it...............but also consider their situation. If a Afghan woman stares out of the window in her house, she is likely to witness a 'Jehadi' raping her neighbour or a US Marine having sex with a camel. If I were in their chappals, I would prefer watching "Kyun ki....." as well. Its not THAT disguisting :-)))

A man has returned, 20 years after leaving his wife, and murdered her at her home in Ahmedabad. Witnesses say that after stabbing her, the man was shouting at her corpse saying that she had ruined his life. The police are not yet sure if it was something deliberately planned or something he did on the spur of the moment. Helllooo......he's come back after 20 years to stab her.......what do the police think he was doing all that time? Meditating?

The following news articles contributed by Srivats :-)

Yes Barca has won the Champions League and yes Ronaldinho has been unvieled as the new Playboy mascot.

If Netaji was alive, would he be the same age as Karunanidhi.

India has been placed 117th in the FIFA rankings. Thats one below Antartica and thirty above Pakistan.

In a suprise revelation Sachin Tendulkar confessed that he writes a Diary. He forgot mention that he started writing it five minutes after he was signed by Reynolds as brand ambassador.

The Indian government has complained that Pakistan is yet to trun the screws on terror. The Pakistan government has retorted saying that India has not been able to control their men from turning the screws on women without their permission.

3 Comments:

Good work fellas...aja this is awesome stuff...i dont know how u think of all this....the petrol-budhia one did it for me....
hehe :))
Hey Nitesh,
thanks for dropping by...

and I was not joking about that dude - looks as if brisk running could be the only option left with the prices going up all the time :-)

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